Doubts and reminders
I have moments of doubt and discontent routinely. I second guess almost every part of my life. I'm a recovering perfectionist. Picture me like a perfectoholic. I expect myself to be perfect. Army of Dad is similar except he hasn't accepted his problem, embraced it and worked to recover from it. He is still in denial. He thinks he can be perfect and expects the best from all those around him. Me, however, I'm in recovery. I'm learning to let go. So what, that my office floor wasn't vaccuumed before my father-in-law arrived today. What is that going to impact in the grand scheme of things? Very little.
But, there are certain things I have high expections about. One being my parenting. I often question myself and what I do. I kick myself for decisions that I make. I regret things I've done or not done, things left undone.
I've been wrangling within myself about the Iraq War. On one hand, I think it is the right thing to do. We are taking the fight to the terrorists while also freeing people from a murderous dictator. Sounds like a win-win situation, right? Well no. I hate that U.S. husbands, fathers, wives, mothers, daughters and sons are dying. I hate that folks in the military are getting stop-losses and not allowed to leave and return to civilian life when they want to. I hate that the father of one of my little boy's soccer teammates is being returned to active duty and taken away from him son and wife.
But, then I stop and think about it. Why are we still there? These ungrateful people don't want us there. They're kidnapping and murdering anyone they can find with white skin. If they don't want us there, why are we giving up so much for them?
Then, I heard about this website written by Iraqis who are glad we are there. It is written by three brothers working together on the blog. Here is what they say in the "about me" category:
-Mohammed: 35 years old dentist/single/graduated from Baghdad university in 1995. Left his job 6 years ago because he refused to serve in Saddam's army, and now back to work in Samawa City in the southwest part of Iraq. Interests: poetry, reading (history, religions, philosophy and politics).
-Ali: 34 years old doctor/married/graduated from Baghdad university in 1995. Left his job for 3 years for the same reason, then did the military service after losing hope, just to go on with his career. Now working in Baghdad as a senior resident and studying to become a pediatrician. Interests: chess, reading (history, parapsychology, politics and novels).
-Omar (I'm the one responsible for the publishing and internet work): 24 years old dentist/single/graduated from Baghdad university in 2002. Saved from the military service only by God and the coalition. Now working in Basra. Interests: music, sports (martial arts), reading (novels) and now blogging. We were all born in Baghdad and still living here.
"There are those who were born free and don’t appreciate the gift they have received and the slaves who have come to love the walls of their prison and can’t see life in a different light." ~~Ali post
That's when, I take a deep breath. THIS is why we are fighting this war and giving up so much. We, as Americans want others to have the same liberties and privileges we have. We are a giving society on the whole. We are a loving and forgiving society and we crave those rights for others in the world. It reminds me of those times as a parent when I have to follow through on something I started. It may not be pleasant, but it is necessary. Just like taking away that bedtime bottle from the baby. Closing the door and letting the baby cry it out when I know nothing is wrong. I hate it. It causes me to suffer, but in the long run, I know it is best. I just don't like to do it. I know those are bad analagies for the loss of life, but it is what pops to mind.
Even worse, if we let up on our resolve to finish this out - then the terrorists win. It is like telling the kid NO to having another piece of candy. If you give in after repeated requests for more, he has won and he knows he has you beat. All he has to do is beat down your resolve. Again, poor analogy, but you get the idea.
We have to see this through. No matter how ugly or how bad it is. We have a job to do and to finish.
But, there are certain things I have high expections about. One being my parenting. I often question myself and what I do. I kick myself for decisions that I make. I regret things I've done or not done, things left undone.
I've been wrangling within myself about the Iraq War. On one hand, I think it is the right thing to do. We are taking the fight to the terrorists while also freeing people from a murderous dictator. Sounds like a win-win situation, right? Well no. I hate that U.S. husbands, fathers, wives, mothers, daughters and sons are dying. I hate that folks in the military are getting stop-losses and not allowed to leave and return to civilian life when they want to. I hate that the father of one of my little boy's soccer teammates is being returned to active duty and taken away from him son and wife.
But, then I stop and think about it. Why are we still there? These ungrateful people don't want us there. They're kidnapping and murdering anyone they can find with white skin. If they don't want us there, why are we giving up so much for them?
Then, I heard about this website written by Iraqis who are glad we are there. It is written by three brothers working together on the blog. Here is what they say in the "about me" category:
-Mohammed: 35 years old dentist/single/graduated from Baghdad university in 1995. Left his job 6 years ago because he refused to serve in Saddam's army, and now back to work in Samawa City in the southwest part of Iraq. Interests: poetry, reading (history, religions, philosophy and politics).
-Ali: 34 years old doctor/married/graduated from Baghdad university in 1995. Left his job for 3 years for the same reason, then did the military service after losing hope, just to go on with his career. Now working in Baghdad as a senior resident and studying to become a pediatrician. Interests: chess, reading (history, parapsychology, politics and novels).
-Omar (I'm the one responsible for the publishing and internet work): 24 years old dentist/single/graduated from Baghdad university in 2002. Saved from the military service only by God and the coalition. Now working in Basra. Interests: music, sports (martial arts), reading (novels) and now blogging. We were all born in Baghdad and still living here.
"There are those who were born free and don’t appreciate the gift they have received and the slaves who have come to love the walls of their prison and can’t see life in a different light." ~~Ali post
That's when, I take a deep breath. THIS is why we are fighting this war and giving up so much. We, as Americans want others to have the same liberties and privileges we have. We are a giving society on the whole. We are a loving and forgiving society and we crave those rights for others in the world. It reminds me of those times as a parent when I have to follow through on something I started. It may not be pleasant, but it is necessary. Just like taking away that bedtime bottle from the baby. Closing the door and letting the baby cry it out when I know nothing is wrong. I hate it. It causes me to suffer, but in the long run, I know it is best. I just don't like to do it. I know those are bad analagies for the loss of life, but it is what pops to mind.
Even worse, if we let up on our resolve to finish this out - then the terrorists win. It is like telling the kid NO to having another piece of candy. If you give in after repeated requests for more, he has won and he knows he has you beat. All he has to do is beat down your resolve. Again, poor analogy, but you get the idea.
We have to see this through. No matter how ugly or how bad it is. We have a job to do and to finish.
4 Comments:
At 6:50 AM, November 16, 2004,
Anonymous said…
I think they are good analogies. They break down the problems and issues we are confronted with to a very basic level.
Terrorists do not want to talk. They can't be reasoned with. They don't care if you "feel their pain". They will still slit your throat as fast as they can. It is their nature.
Our nature is to knock any neighborhood bullies we come across. We didn't do it as fast as we should have in the past and let problems grow out of control. Thankfully at least some in our country have learned that if you do not confront evil on your terms you will be forced to confront it on its terms.
Army of Dad
At 8:33 AM, November 16, 2004,
Army of Mom said…
Thank you for thinking that I was on a good track there. I appreciate you adding some key parts that I failed to include.
At 9:45 AM, November 16, 2004,
Astrosmith said…
You are right on, AoM. I love that Iraq the Model website. I believe those guys represent the majority of Iraqis, and it gives me hope that we really are doing the right thing over there.
Will "freedom" and "democracy" take root in Iraq and Afghanistan, and spread across the Arab world? I don't know, but if that is truly what Bush is attempting to do over there, then God bless him.
I have my doubts, of course, about both the taking root and Bush's intentions. But, well, you hope he's telling the truth.
At 10:51 AM, November 16, 2004,
Army of Mom said…
I would love to see freedom and democracy take hold in the Arab world, but I don't see it coming any time soon. They're certainly not going to let their women unveil their faces and get to the polls if they can hold them down for a while longer.
But, I have hope that one day my grandchildren won't have the fears that my children have today. And, I don't doubt Bush's intentions. He is an honorable man.
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