Exercise in futility
I was heading to the big city to take Boo to get his blood draw before his visit to the specialist later this month. We have learned that it is easier to get the bloodwork early and then the doctor has the results at our appointment. Makes things go easier. But, alas, the lab closes at 5 and it takes about 45 minutes to get there from home. So, we were heading out when a nasty storm with 60 mph winds and nickel sized hail was heading straight for I-35. So, we turned around and decided to just make it a mom and kiddo evening and have dinner and do a little bit of Christmas shopping.
I had a coupon Boo got at school for a free kid's meal at El Chico for getting on the honor roll. So, we headed there after a bit of shopping. Throughout most of my meal, I could hear a baby crying on the other side of the restaurant and I was thinking that it sounded like a very tired, I don't feel good kind of cry. Once you've had a few kids, you can recognize the differences in their cries. Toward the end of my meal, I saw a dad jerk up a baby girl, probably 15 to 18 months old, and drag her down the hall toward the bathroom repeatedly spanking her. He hit her so hard that her pacifier flew about three feet down the hall. I counted about a dozen spanks. I almost lost it right then and there. I got up and started walking towards that hallway to maybe divert his attention if he felt someone was watching him. He stopped, picked up the binky and headed back to his table. Within a few minutes, the baby was crying again and he was jerking her up once again. This time I headed toward him and said "Dad, do you want me to take her for a minute so you can take a break?" He just gave me a go to hell look and shook his head no one time and headed out of the restaurant, where we heard him smack another two or three times. All the patrons in the restaurant around me were all watching in shock and disbelief at this. I turned to the couple behind me and said "How many times do you hit a baby before you realize THAT isn't going to make her stop crying?" My son was distraught at how this baby was being treated and I couldn't handle it. The baby's bitch mother was sitting at the table just eating her food like no big deal. Army of Dad would be throttled for beating our baby like that. Now, if you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that I'm a proponent of spanking children. But, a baby that age will not respond to that kind of abuse. When my children pull stuff like that, we either leave or one of us takes the child to the bathroom where they cry it out and sit there until they're done. I have spent a few nights out sitting in the bathroom with a screaming toddler until the kid has worked it out and is calm. The problem with this man was not that he was trying to discipline the child - he was pissed off at the kid. I know the feeling. I've been there and done that. When I get to that point, my best bet is to take a time out FOR ME! I went to the hostess and asked to use their phone and called 911. The 911 dispatcher seemed equally appalled at the behavior. The El Chico staff were as pissed as I was, too. After a while on the phone with 911, they said they were sending a cop out. The couple at the table behind me approached me as they were leaving. They agreed how inappropriate this man's discipline was, too. The man said he saw the guy jerk the baby up out of her highchair by one arm. That can dislocate and damage a baby's shoulder. I told the woman, "If he does that in public, what kind of damage must he do at home?" She showed me a District Attorney's badge on her waistband and said "Alot."
I was done eating, but the dispatcher had asked me to hang around to point the people out to the cop. The cop finally showed up about 30 minutes after my call. He talked to the family and the bitch mom showed the cop the baby's butt. She still had red marks on it and this had to be 45 to 60 minutes AFTER her spanking. The cop didn't seem to think it was excessive. WTF???? I'm floored. I'm going to pursue this a little further with a letter to this cop, the police chief and maybe the detective in charge of crimes against children. I think it would be beneficial for CPS to make a visit to this asshole's house. That isn't right.
Boo and I were fairly upset after our otherwise nice time together. I cried for a good little while at the thought of what those little angels must endure at that house. There were three precious little girls in that family. I hope, if nothing else, it makes this asshole think twice before he raises a hand to his children again.
I had a coupon Boo got at school for a free kid's meal at El Chico for getting on the honor roll. So, we headed there after a bit of shopping. Throughout most of my meal, I could hear a baby crying on the other side of the restaurant and I was thinking that it sounded like a very tired, I don't feel good kind of cry. Once you've had a few kids, you can recognize the differences in their cries. Toward the end of my meal, I saw a dad jerk up a baby girl, probably 15 to 18 months old, and drag her down the hall toward the bathroom repeatedly spanking her. He hit her so hard that her pacifier flew about three feet down the hall. I counted about a dozen spanks. I almost lost it right then and there. I got up and started walking towards that hallway to maybe divert his attention if he felt someone was watching him. He stopped, picked up the binky and headed back to his table. Within a few minutes, the baby was crying again and he was jerking her up once again. This time I headed toward him and said "Dad, do you want me to take her for a minute so you can take a break?" He just gave me a go to hell look and shook his head no one time and headed out of the restaurant, where we heard him smack another two or three times. All the patrons in the restaurant around me were all watching in shock and disbelief at this. I turned to the couple behind me and said "How many times do you hit a baby before you realize THAT isn't going to make her stop crying?" My son was distraught at how this baby was being treated and I couldn't handle it. The baby's bitch mother was sitting at the table just eating her food like no big deal. Army of Dad would be throttled for beating our baby like that. Now, if you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that I'm a proponent of spanking children. But, a baby that age will not respond to that kind of abuse. When my children pull stuff like that, we either leave or one of us takes the child to the bathroom where they cry it out and sit there until they're done. I have spent a few nights out sitting in the bathroom with a screaming toddler until the kid has worked it out and is calm. The problem with this man was not that he was trying to discipline the child - he was pissed off at the kid. I know the feeling. I've been there and done that. When I get to that point, my best bet is to take a time out FOR ME! I went to the hostess and asked to use their phone and called 911. The 911 dispatcher seemed equally appalled at the behavior. The El Chico staff were as pissed as I was, too. After a while on the phone with 911, they said they were sending a cop out. The couple at the table behind me approached me as they were leaving. They agreed how inappropriate this man's discipline was, too. The man said he saw the guy jerk the baby up out of her highchair by one arm. That can dislocate and damage a baby's shoulder. I told the woman, "If he does that in public, what kind of damage must he do at home?" She showed me a District Attorney's badge on her waistband and said "Alot."
I was done eating, but the dispatcher had asked me to hang around to point the people out to the cop. The cop finally showed up about 30 minutes after my call. He talked to the family and the bitch mom showed the cop the baby's butt. She still had red marks on it and this had to be 45 to 60 minutes AFTER her spanking. The cop didn't seem to think it was excessive. WTF???? I'm floored. I'm going to pursue this a little further with a letter to this cop, the police chief and maybe the detective in charge of crimes against children. I think it would be beneficial for CPS to make a visit to this asshole's house. That isn't right.
Boo and I were fairly upset after our otherwise nice time together. I cried for a good little while at the thought of what those little angels must endure at that house. There were three precious little girls in that family. I hope, if nothing else, it makes this asshole think twice before he raises a hand to his children again.
7 Comments:
At 9:34 AM, December 07, 2004, Anonymous said…
Make sure you CC OOPS.
Office of Professional Standards in case you don't recall.
Army of Dad
At 9:51 AM, December 07, 2004, Gadfly said…
Who the hell spanks a toddler anyway? If they're touching something they don't need to be, I can see whacking their hand. But they can't make the connection between their behavior and being lifted into the air and beaten on the butt. That's not doing anything except freaking them out. Sure not going to make the kid stop crying.
What a psych job! Jeeze!
At 10:00 AM, December 07, 2004, Anonymous said…
That's horrible! CPS's hotline for reporting stuff is 1-800-252-5400 if you didn't already know and want to call them. Since you probably don't know the family's information, you could just give out the information about the cop, etc. Some people are just unbelievable.
Erica
At 10:52 AM, December 07, 2004, Uzz said…
Well you did the right thing! It makes me sick when people attack a child out of anger...I have no problem with spanking, but to take it to this level is scary! You should be able to get their names from the police report shouldn't you? I have friends with CPS in Austin, so let me know if you need anything.
At 12:00 PM, December 07, 2004, Army of Mom said…
I am glad to know that the consensus is that I didn't overreact. The way the cop acted, I questioned myself. It took time and effort to stick around and wait for the cop and make sure they actually said something to these people. It just felt wrong. To me, red marks on a toddler's backside 30 to 45 minutes after a whooping signals it was just that - a whooping! Just wasn't right and NO ONE in that restaurant thought it was right. I was just the only one to step up and try to intervene or get the authorities to intervene. If I can do anything to help a child, I will. Still breaks my heart as to what those assholes must do to their kids regularly.
At 12:21 PM, December 07, 2004, Anonymous said…
It just makes me so pissed, then it breaks my heart. How many times does a parents rage leads to a child's death? I also will say I have been there, but I know when I am losing my patience. That's the part that scares me...that some people can't recognize it themselves.
At 2:05 PM, December 07, 2004, lemming said…
God bless you and well done. You did EXACTLY the right thing. A spanking should send a message - it should not leave red marks forty minutes later, let alone send a pacifier flying.
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