Sexual orientation and close calls

My daughter's daycare experience has left the family scarred. We'll never be the same.

Not only did she discover Barney and fall in love with the giant purple dinosaur, but she has become a Fag Hag. She is in love with The Wiggles. There is no way in the world these guys can be straight. Is there? I mean, who does these gay-ass dances (no offense NDT or Chad, I'm sure you DON'T dance like these guys and you know I'm a fag hag, too) and sing the Yummy Yummy song.

Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think it was precious when she sings Yummy Yummy and I Love You, You Love Me because those are some of her sweetest, cutest, most precious moments in the world. Not like when she woke me up at 4:30 a.m. because she was scared. Then, five minutes later, she had to pee. I guess it could be worse (again) because at least she wasn't waking me up because she was poopy.

She scared the bejeezers out of me. I had her happily watching said Wiggles with a cup of milk and a waffle slathered in peanut butter while I went to mow the yard so we don't look completely white trashy for her party Saturday (it is supposed to rain tonight, so I figured I better do it while we can). I thought I had her path blocked if she got into the garage. I was watching vigilantly, or so I thought, while mowing. Then, I caught a little red flash out of the corner of my eye and there she was standing in the yard giggling hilariously! My heart jumped into my throat as I turned the mower off, thanked God she was ok and scrooped her up (all in a split second)! I held her tight and kept saying "No, no, no baby. It isn't safe for you to be out here!" In her almost 3-year-old logic, she looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "I'll put my shoes on." I had to smile a bit as I pulled her as close to me as she could be without melding into my chest. I took her back in and cajoled her with the opening of the blinds so she could watch me mow.

I'm not sure whose guardian angel was working harder, hers or mine!