More AoM weirdness

I did something today that I don't think I have ever done. I bought men's shorts. For me.

*blinking*

I haven't been able to find any shorts that I liked this year. They're either so short my ample ass hangs out or they are these weird-ass tight shorts that go down to my knees. What the hell is up with that? What retard designed those things? They look stupid on the sticks who walk down the runway. How in the hell is a chubby soccer mom supposed to wear those things?

Bitching to my mom about my lack of shorts, she said something wise (not her strong suit, just FYI):
Go shop in the men's department.

Hmm. I had to look and try several things on, but I found a pair that actually fits. They're not down to my calves and they don't give me camel toe either. Yippee. Bad thing, they weren't on sale and had only one pair in my size. I'm wondering if the other soccer moms beat me to them.