Has it been nine years already?

I still find it hard to believe that nine years ago, that fresh-faced Army JAG Corps specialist made me his wife. It was just about a month earlier that we decided to get married. We were at Luby's (the infamous one in Killeen where the psycho drove his car in and started shooting people several years before) when we discussed it and decided to do it pretty much on the spur of the moment.

I vividly remember us breaking up about two weeks before we were married. Ok, I broke up with him. He was younger than I, and I was convinced when he "grew up" that he wouldn't want me anymore and I didn't want to ruin his life. I tried to talk him out of marrying me because I loved him THAT much. I feared that five to 10 years down the line that he would feel like he made the biggest mistake of his life and I told him so. He was really mad at me for that. But, I couldn't stay away.
I knew I loved this man more than anything. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I thought he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. I never felt safer before than I did with him. It didn't matter what the circumstances, I knew if he was there, I was safe. I loved that feeling. We were secure with one another. That security allowed us to have our own friends and our own interests independent of one another. We were able to continue growing and keeping each other interested.

I never thought it could be possible, but I love him more today than I did nine years ago. We understand each other better. I know when to leave him alone (for the most part) and he knows when to give me space and when to wrap his arms around me and reassure me that everything is going to be ok.

While he rags on my Cowboys, I cheer for his Vikings. I have become a Gators fan, too. I look at my beloved Hot Rod and see his daddy is everything he does. I love to watch my children and how much they love their dad and I can see his love for them in his eyes. There is something amazingly appealing to me in a man who loves his children. More than anything I think I love how responsible he is. Unfailing. Tireless. He can be romantic at the damnedest times. I'll use his car for some outing with a girlfriend and he'll put a CD in with a special song on for me and I'm usually in tears before I even reach my destination because I know he had to think about it. My favorite was Garth Brook's "She's Every Woman."

She's sun and rain, she's fire and ice

A little crazy but it's nice

And when she gets mad,

you best leave her alone

'Cause she'll rage just like a river

Then she'll beg you to forgive her

She's every woman that I've ever known

She's so New York and then L.A. (ok, changes these words to Kennedale and Fort Worth)

And every town along the way

She's every place that I've never been

She's makin love on rainy nights

She's a stroll through Christmas lights

And she's everything I want to do again

It needs no explanation

'Cause it all makes perfect sense

For when it comes down to temptation

She's on both sides of the fence

No it needs no explanation

'Cause it all makes perfect sense

When it comes down to temptation

She's on both sides of the fence

She's anything but typical

She's so unpredictable

Oh but even at her worst it ain't that bad

She's as real as real can be

And she's every fantasy

Lord she's every lover that I've ever had

And she's every lover that I've never had

He demonstrates his love in his actions: digging out the drains in the backyard in 40-degree rain that is two inches deep already; staying up late to spray the kitchen for termites when he is dead on his feet after working an eight-hour day and then reffing two consecutive soccer games for more than three hours of running back and forth; driving me and a week-old baby to the children's hospital in Fort Worth at 4 a.m. in a rain storm to make sure the baby's circumcision isn't getting infected; driving 45 minutes to and from a job he doesn't care for and putting up with stupid crap, so we can have a decent life; and many many more ways.

I don't think I can adequately put into words how much I love him. As much as he drives me crazy, the passion and love are even more intense. His family wasn't thrilled about me when he announced our engagement, not that I blame them, I wouldn't have been the choice for him either had he been my son. That made this song one that often reminds me of our limited courtship. I often felt if his family had any idea who much I loved him, then they would know I was the right one for him. His mom knew and I loved her fromt the start because of her support from the beginning. He had surgery the January after I met him and I took care of him through it all and kept her updated on everything. She told me later that she knew I was the right girl for him at that point - I took care of her baby when she couldn't. How could I not love the family that brought this wonderful man into the world. I hope he knows how much I love him. I think he does.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart. I treasure you more than anything in the world.