The Magical Mystery Tour

On the cruise, we docked in Cozumel, but instead of hitting the tourist destinations there, we hopped on a ferry and went to Playa del Carmen where we saw the most beautiful water and gorgeous beachfront resorts. We took a long walk through town to get to our bus to take us to the coastal town of Tulum. We saw this glass do-not-enter barrier beside where our bus was parked.

Along the bus ride, our tour guide - Manuel - stopped us off at a roadside Mayan gift shop for the use of the free restrooms (he said the market at the ruins at Tulum charge for the use of los banos there). So, we got to potty AND we got some free Mexican moonshine Tequila. The shots were in little cups like you use to down Nyquil. This was some of the smoothest tequila I have ever had. I didn't even need to suck on the lime. I stopped at two shots. LaLa? Nope, she had six. That she can remember.

Yep, she was feeling good. Our bus driver -disturbingly enough - was selling cerveza for $2 a bottle. There he is selling while we were stopped. I don't think he was drinking it, though, so that was good.

After we toured the ruins (pics to come later) we made our way to Senor Frog's. I ordered beef fajitas, but they were most certainly not beef. One of the Mexican guys in the area said to me in a heavily Mexican accent: "Do you see any cows around here?" To that thought, I fed my fajitas to a stray cat that was begging. Then, we had the party girls. They drank way too much and were pretty loud and obnoxious asking about how to say the following: almost free, almost free sex and almost free sex with the natives.
Here are some of the merchants from Senor Frog's. The guy's apron says: I'm shy, but I have a big dick. Then, he showed me!

One of the most common phrases we heard while at the market at Tulum was "almost free!" The vendors would follow us around - getting a little too friendly and handsy for my liking - and tell us that "business is slow. I sell to you real cheap. Almost free. Linda like you needs pretty dress!"

Then, we saw the nutria-looking critter at a resort on the way back. This thing was as big as a small dog. Totally disgusting. But, hey, he didn't say "almost free" so that was good.