Shot to the heart
Mom is having a heart catheterization in the morning. Of course, I know this is very routine and all will be fine, but I'm feeling extremely anxious. A lot of it is the past few weeks I've had. The death of little 2-year-old Gavin is still weighing heavily on my mind. At least three or four days a week, I pass within a block of the house where he drowned in the back yard pool. Just makes me anxious.
Mom has never been in good health, but she's too mean to die. Her words, not mine. She had a stroke in July 2005 and I think I've babied her since then and appreciated her a little more. I know that my time with my mom is ticking away. One of my classmates lost her mom two years ago. My cousin - just three years older - has lost both of her parents.
So, my mom's health is weighing heavily on my mind.
Nowhere close to comparable, but I have two stories due on Tuesday and no one is calling me back. I have four news brief compilations due on the 10th and the editor asked me if she could have them early. Ha. I laugh at your request to be, what is this thing again? Early? Ha ha. That makes me laugh even more.
Let's add a little more to the stress level - I'm hosting Little Bit's birthday party at our house on Saturday afternoon. What the hell? I planned this party before knowing that my was going to be snaked like the sewer at my first rent house out of college. So, I've been trying to get the house cleaned up, which is no small feat with four other people following behind me and messing shit up and leaving it for me to clean up. I haven't gotten the Halloween decorations out to make the house festive either. Need to do that, too. And, as far as bathroom cleaning goes, ain't gonna happen. My bathroom rugs died today. But, that isn't bad for the Kmart Martha Stewart special from eight years ago. Got my $10's worth out of those puppies. I'm just behind on everything. *shrug* My mom was telling me not to come up there because it is no big deal and to finish all my stuff I need to get done. Yeah right. I'm planning to stay with her at the hospital because my dad's idea of caring for her is handing her the nurse's button, so she can call for help. Then, he is out of there to get a good night's sleep. *rolling my eyes* Mom is trying to act nonchalant, but then she mentions that she doesn't have an organ donor card and if anything goes wrong, not that it will, but if it does, she says, make sure they take anything they can use. I can't remember if this was before or after she told me where the funeral documents are. Nah, you're not anxious at all.
*sigh*
Mom has never been in good health, but she's too mean to die. Her words, not mine. She had a stroke in July 2005 and I think I've babied her since then and appreciated her a little more. I know that my time with my mom is ticking away. One of my classmates lost her mom two years ago. My cousin - just three years older - has lost both of her parents.
So, my mom's health is weighing heavily on my mind.
Nowhere close to comparable, but I have two stories due on Tuesday and no one is calling me back. I have four news brief compilations due on the 10th and the editor asked me if she could have them early. Ha. I laugh at your request to be, what is this thing again? Early? Ha ha. That makes me laugh even more.
Let's add a little more to the stress level - I'm hosting Little Bit's birthday party at our house on Saturday afternoon. What the hell? I planned this party before knowing that my was going to be snaked like the sewer at my first rent house out of college. So, I've been trying to get the house cleaned up, which is no small feat with four other people following behind me and messing shit up and leaving it for me to clean up. I haven't gotten the Halloween decorations out to make the house festive either. Need to do that, too. And, as far as bathroom cleaning goes, ain't gonna happen. My bathroom rugs died today. But, that isn't bad for the Kmart Martha Stewart special from eight years ago. Got my $10's worth out of those puppies. I'm just behind on everything. *shrug* My mom was telling me not to come up there because it is no big deal and to finish all my stuff I need to get done. Yeah right. I'm planning to stay with her at the hospital because my dad's idea of caring for her is handing her the nurse's button, so she can call for help. Then, he is out of there to get a good night's sleep. *rolling my eyes* Mom is trying to act nonchalant, but then she mentions that she doesn't have an organ donor card and if anything goes wrong, not that it will, but if it does, she says, make sure they take anything they can use. I can't remember if this was before or after she told me where the funeral documents are. Nah, you're not anxious at all.
*sigh*
2 Comments:
At 4:32 PM, October 04, 2007,
Lisa said…
I understand. I lost my adopted Mom when I was 19 (she was 49) and then 8 months after I was reunited with my birth Mom she died too (she was 48, I was 35). I guess my point is, it doesn't matter how old WE are or how grown up we FEEL, we still need our Moms. I will keep you both in my prayers.
At 9:15 PM, October 07, 2007,
Army of Mom said…
Bless your heart. I didn't realize you have lost both your moms. I just can't imagine. Mom told me on the phone today that she wants to do this sooner rather than later because she'd rather have a better quality of life or nothing right now. That is how weak she is right now. I just felt the tears well up in my eyes. I understand what she was saying, but the selfish part of me wants her with me forever. I'm always going to be her little girl. And, you're right. We never stop needing our moms. There is just something special about a mother-daughter relationship.
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