Repeat after me: I am a ghetto

I have fallen in love with soccer. I admit it. But, the love runs deeper now that we have the Fox Soccer Channel. Now, I can watch some REALLY good soccer with the English Premier League. But, I'll be damned if I can understand anything these men are saying. English, Scottish ... it doesn't matter, I can't comprehend about half of what they're saying. It is almost as bad as watching soccer on Telemundo where I pick up about a quarter of what they're saying in Spanish.

Every summer, our local soccer association hosts hunky young guys, er, soccer coaches from across the United Kingdom. Host families take these guys in and give them room and board for the week they're in town. Our first year, we had a Scottish guy. We couldn't understand much of what he was saying. The best part was when he kept asking where the ghettos in town were. Huh? Finally, from the context of his sentence, we figured out he was asking where the girls are. Ghettos=girls (not really the word, but the way it sounds with his accent). If I was smart, I'd tell him that Army of Dad should NOT know where all the girls are in town. :)

Now, excuse me, I've got to get back to EPL action with Everton and Aston Villa and the commentators who are speaking some foreign version of English.