Stating the Obvious

First off, a big old middle finger to my husband for laughing when I said I was going to put together our new vaccuum cleaner. Thank you very much, I did it all by myself and it sucks appropriately.

With that said, I had to get a new vaccuum cleaner. I apparently ran the damn thing over something that totally screwed it up. Fortunately, Wal-Mart is very forgiving and exchanged it for me (since I still had the box - thank you to Army of Dad for insisting that I keep it. I usually give him grief for doing that.)

So, I'm putting it together and while reading the instructions I noticed this little gem: Assemble the cleaner before using.

No shit? Really? You gotta put it together before it works? Well, I'll be damned.

So, then I started seeing other little nuggets of interest:
Do not use on wet surfaces.
Do not put any object into openings.
Keep hair, loose clothing, fingers and all parts of body away from openings and moving parts.
Do not pick up anything that is burning or smoking such as cigarettes, matches or hot ashes.
Do not pick up flammable or combustible liquids such as gasoline.

That's like the warning on your coffee that "liquid may be hot." Well, yeah.