Why we don't have a dog

Every once in a while, I contemplate getting a dog for our children. Then, I think better of it.

Here, for example, are some reasons why I don't have a dog:
1. My parents' back yard smells really horrendous because my parents never scoop up the poop.
2. dog breath
3. The last dog we had chewed the siding off the house
4. My poor MIL's dog passed away and the rescue dog she got a few weeks later died of severe heart worms.
5. reading Jen Lancaster's book and hearing her talk about dogs barfing on guests, chewing new furniture and dragging their asses on the carpet after pooping
6. reading a blog I haven't been to in a while and the blogger talked about her dog licking the other dog's ass about 50 times a day
7. Uzz's dog peeing in his car and then pooping at his sister's when he dropped it off on his way out of town
8. still heartbroken over losing my own dog back in 1996. Long story, don't ask. I didn't lose the dog, but someone caring for it until I could get an apartment where it could stay did. Sad.
9. they shed hairs everywhere
10. they stink
11. I don't have the time to care for one more thing.
12. money money money

Another reason why I don't have a dog. Any dog who eats a stuffed penguin in my house is dinner. Where's the number for the Super Buffet? They might need some meat on the buffet tonight.